IT'S ALL GOOD TODAY

In case anyone was wonderin'... I'm a Blue Jays fan! See more HNT madness here ...
http://haalfnaakedthursday.blogspot.com/

Yup, I'm back! The me with the eternal optimism, the me who loves life, the me who is grateful to wake up, it's all in there today. I had made a mistake yesterday thinking I had my therapy appointment, but it was actually the day before- ooops! And last night I went to my relapse prevention group to find that I was the only client to show up! It worked out OK though, because I got to talk to the counsellor and the co-facilitator all by self! That's what I'm all about, me, me, me!!! Needless to say, group ended early due to the fact it was a group of one, so I got to come home and watch some of my Jays game before my date with my mom. On my way home, I ran into an old drinking/drugging buddie. He was going through a really bad time and was waiting to get into a 28 day treatment program. He knew I was in the program and asked for my number, he said he wants to get sober but can't do it alone, and was afraid of going to meetings alone... I guess God put me in his path yesterday!

My date with mom was fun. She had given me some money to play bingo with, and some extra to tide me over for the month. Anyway, I would have argued with her, and not taken the extra in the old days, or I would have taken it and spent it on booze or drugs. But yesterday I just said thank you. I know that my mom can afford it and it makes her feel good to help me out this way, so it worked out for both of us. Long story short, I ended up winning at bingo, so I gave my mom half and still had lots left over for me and Angel this weekend. I think since I no longer worry about having money because I always have everything I need, that my HP was sending me a gift of extra! All in all, a really good day.

Here is the reading from 24 Hours A Day...

A lot of well meaning people treat alcoholics like the priest and the Levite. They pass by on the other side by scorning them and telling them what low people they are, with no willpower. Whereas, they really have fallen for alcohol, in the same way as the man in the story fell among the robbers. And the member of AA who is working with others is like the Good Samaritan. Am I moved with compassion? Do I take care of another alcoholic whenever I can?

I must constantly live in preparation for something better to come. All of life is preparation for something better. I must anticipate the morning to come. I must feel, in the night of sorrow that understanding joy tells of confident expectation of better things to come. "Sorrow may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning". Know that God has something better in store for you, as long as you are making yourself ready for it. All your existence in this world is a training for a better life to come.

I pray that when life is over, I will return to an eternal, spaceless life with God. I pray that I may make this life a preparedness for a better life to come.

As today's post was rather long I will skip writing out my gratitude list, just know that today I am filled with gratitude and love for all of the blessings I have in my life...and for all of YOU too! Happy HNT!

BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN RECOVERY

Today I am happy to announce the return of our favourite cupcake, to visit her click here.
http://postcardsfromthecupcakemonkey.blogspot.com/

Today's Daily Reflection reminds me again of how much we all really have in common, not only on the journey to recovery, but also in everyday life:

We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers/sisters in virtue as we are brothers/sisters in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome these.
As Bill Sees It pg.167

The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritual- almost incomprehensible. But it is there , I "feel"it. Today I feel that I can help people and that they can help me. It is a new and exciting feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for, praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to share those feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do this- or how to try. I never even cared. The fellowship of AA, and God, are teaching me how to care about others.

I can so relate to this! When I do my daily blog-stalking, I look forward to hearing about all of you. How is your day going? Have you solved the problem that was causing you pain? I actually care. I don't worry incessantly about you , because I know you are safely in the hands of God. I don't want for you to be OK because I want something from you, no, I actually want for you to be peaceful and happy, the same thing I want for me! It is a freedom for me to share the things that are causing me unhappiness today, and to lessen your burdens by being there to hear your stuff. With all of my defects of character, I am still welcomed into AA and this loving blogger community, just as I welcome you. With that I will share my gratitude list for today...

• I am very grateful to wake up at 7:30!!! without a hangover
• for all of my sober blogging buddies who share their E, S and H with me today
• that my womens' meeting goes tonight
• that MY Boys are playing at 12:30 today, so I won't miss the game
• that the Sens are once again doing well in the play-offs (even though they'll probably CHOKE in the end!)
• that I have an answereing machine so I can play phone tag with the Maven
• the weather is quite spring like today
• my garden is growing strong and healthy, and I know how to post pictures of it on my blog
• I have a safe home to call my own today
• my Angel will spend one day of her weekend with me this week
• that people love and care enough to comment on my little bloggy...

So I wish all of you a happy, joyous and free from drugs and alcohol day. I plan to have one myself!

BETTER DAYS ARE HERE

Virgo August 23 - September 22
You'll soon discover that the hardest thing for a parent is to lose a child, as not only are there many authority figures who will try extremely hard to return them, the little bastards are quite resourceful on their own. The Onion!

I stole this from Lounge Daddy's post and I thought it was hilarious, considering that I have a child who resembles the one alluded to in my horoscope!http://aangeldevilteen.blogspot.com/ So today , I have lost my child to the Maven and her family, who don't seem to realize that IT IS BASEBALL SEASON!!! They are having a HOCKEY party of all stupid things! Now I don't know about you, but in my part of the world (although we do have some spring snow), April signals the end of Hockey, or at least it should! Do I care that the Senators are in the play offs? NO! Do I think they have a hope in H-E- double hockey sticks of actually winning? Hell NO! My prediction? The Sens will do what they do best... CHOKE!!! In the mean time I have been ditched, left all by self, abandoned again...Good thing my Jays are playing today!!!

Last night I went to my home group. I so love it! A bunch of crazy drunks just like me, all sober! There is a lot of laughter at my meeting, I used to get offended that 'these people' had the gall to laugh, didn't they realize how serious our addictions are? Today I take comfort in the fact that my "peeps" know how to put recovery first, but have not forgotten the healing powers of laughter! The speaker was amazing- I love that word ! She was a late blooming alcoholic, and a high functioning one at that. She had five children, a husband, volunteer work and a full time job! Ironically her degree was in alcohol and drug counselling, and for years she would selflessly help us drunks and then go home to drink to forget all of the sad stories she heard day after day! She shared how she would drink in a closet in her home so that no one would know what she was up to. I could not relate to the life she lead, but I could identify with the feelings of "keeping it all together", hiding my drinking from the outside world, and the humility when I realized that I was not in control after all. A great message indeed!

Todays' Daily Reflections talks about resentments...

Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick as well.

Alcoholics Anonymous pg.64

The best way I know to help get rid of resentments is to pray for those I think have done me wrong, in my prayers I ask for the people to have all of the good things that I have found in life. Here are some of the good things I have today...

• my day started with a big hug from my Angel
• I spoke to a very good friend on the phone
• I can allow my daughter to have fun with people other than me- without resentment
• I am clean and sober today
• the sadness I was feeling has been replaced by joy
• I have a computer to stalk to all of my blogging buddies
• I know how to use my computer today!
• my BOYS are kickin' butt again- take that- all you hockey fans!
• when my Angel comes home we will have a gurlie night with DVD's and popcorn

This was posted outside a church near where I live...

Man's way leads to a hopeless end, God's way leads to an endless hope.

So until we meet again.... HUGS to all!

SOMETIMES I WAKE UP CRABBY, SOMETIMES I LET HER SLEEP IN!

Here is the reading from today's Daily Reflections...

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea..... "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 12

Yesterday was a beautiful and sunny day in my world, and I'm not referring to the weather! Dispite the fact that the night before had been so difficult for me, I continued to do the right things and it all went well in the end! So I had made plans to meet my mom for lunch yesterday, she had recently returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic. My mom stiil needs to have a 'reason' to see me, and I am OK with that today! The 'reason' yesterday was that she had brought me back some American smokes...love those Marlboro's, and no I am not planning to quit smoking TODAY! I look forward to spending time with my mom today. I have grown to love and appreciate her more in these few months of sobriety than I ever did before! When we talk on the phone I always say "I love you mom", before we hang up, and she never used to say it back (ouch), but the last few times we've spoken she has said " I love you too Babe". I always knew my mom loved me, but it warms my heart to hear the words from her today. PS, mom forgot to bring the smokes with her LOL

I began my day in the usual way, blog-stalking, doing my readings, having something to eat, and I chose to let Angel sleep. She had asked me to wake her up, but I was a little afraid as we did not have the best night the night before. I figure that she would not be happy with me anyway, so I opted to take care of me and get ready to go meet my mom. So about twenty minutes before I was ready to leave, I woke Angel up and told her I was leaving in fifteen, I know it did not really give her enough time to get ready, but I was kind of in self-preservation mode! She was not happy with me (big surprise) and asked if I WANTED her to come to lunch or if I was going to make her day a 'living hell'! I told her that I did want her to come with, but it was up to her to have the kind of day she chose to have. I got ready, left Angel some bus tickets and the keys, told her I loved her, and left the house! While I was getting ready though, Angel sat on the stairs watching and baiting me, but I didn't bite! Change is good!

On the way to the bus stop, I picked up a couple of scratch tickets, I know, I have to be careful there, and I am, but it is a small indulgence that I enjoy today... Anyway I won $50.00...WOOHOO. I felt rich! I had also received a check that was in the mail and actually WAS in the mail and actually arrived!!! So I made a decision to spend some money ON ME... OOOHHH, don't know if I can do it, must remove the receipts so I can't return stuff later (when the guilt sets in!) When I got to the mall, I was early, so I had some time to look around, and saw a sale!!! They had winter coats on for 50% off, and I found one that I loved and it fit! It was marked down from $375.00 to $129.00 and another 50% off that! The last time I bought a winter coat was about four or five years ago at a second hand shop, it cost me $25.00!

I waited for my mom to arrive (she had my youngest niece with her, yay, two for the price of one on hugs too!) and then went to show her the coat...of course my mom decided that she needed a new spring jacket, and are ya gettin' where I'm going here? She paid for my coat too! I no longer argue with my mom over such things, as it apparently is in the genes...my mom and HER mom used to argue over who paid for what ALL the time (in a loving way). Mom would give my grandma money for food or gas, whatever and grandma would put the money back in mom's purse then mom would find it and hide it in the cookie jar, then grandma would find it and put it under moms' pillow.... you see, it is no use telling my mom to NOT pay for stuff, better to just say thank you, I appreciate it!

With the money I didn't spend on the coat, I decided to get some new ruuning shoes, again, much needed as present running shoes have a hole in the bottom and are about four years old (and no MC, I will NOT be RUNNING in my running shoes!) So at the shoe store what do I see? Another sale!! Oh life is sweet today... I had a tough time deciding between two pairs, but opted for the more expensive ones, they were all leather and were marked down from $50. to $23. and who in their right mind could pass up a deal like that! So I go to put the other shoes back and when I went to pay for the first pair, a miracle happened...into one shoe was stuffed a twenty and a ten!!! So I ended up with TWO new pairs of runners! One of the pairs is black with turquoise stripes and black laces with turquoise ribbon laces , too cute, and my favorite colours. The other pair is white with pink striping on them, nice and summer-ry! I LOVE new shoes and (I think) I deserve them and I even wore the black ones last night so I can't return them!!! Last night Angel and I went to the woman's meeting, which was great, full of love and laughter, I think I'll probably attend it every week.

Today I woke up to another great day, funny how I seem to be having more and more of those lately! I really am so grateful to be able to choose the kind of days I have, life just keeps getting better. When I got up I discovered a message on the phone from a very busy friend who I had thought abandoned me, but no, it's not always about me! Friend actually and truly DOES have a very busy (and stressful) life and offered to kick my butt the next time I indulge in I-think-she's-mad-at-me-for-no-apparent-reason thinking, and what could possibly be better than a good old ass-kicking from someone you love and who loves you?

That's all for now friends, no, no, don't thank me (for ending this here) 'cause you all know I'll be back later! Have a great day ALL...