Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'M NOT GETTING OLDER or I WON'T GROW UP!

My belly button birthday is coming up. Yesterday AAngel and I went to my mom's/ sister's place to celebrate my nieces' birthday, and mine too. I told my mom I really didn't want any fuss made over me, so we had a great BBQ dinner, and a cake made for little niece, and me. The visit was really cool. My mom lives with my sister and her family in a huge house in the country (sort of). Every time we go to visit there have been more improvements made, this time being the addition of a pool, it is an above ground pool to which they are adding a deck. The pool is lovely, big and oval shaped, and it is only five feet deep, so it is perfect for swimming in. The three gurls (AAngel, little niece and big niece, swam for about an hour, it was lots of fun watching them play together. After dinner and cake, gifts were brought out for little niece who just turned 4 and for AAngel (belated 16th from my sis), but nothing for me! Big baby that I am, I was hurt that I didn't receive any gifties or even a card from my mom!... maybe she'll mail me a birthday card...

So to help me to focus on what is important today, here is today's Daily Reflection...

When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependance upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg. 116

All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted powerlessness over people, places and things. I had been a real "people addict" ; wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received.

I have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to work AA's Steps to keep this particular principle before my personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and emotional stability.

Yeah, OK, I get it sheeesh!!! It never ceases to amaze me how these readings, more times than not, address issues that I just happen to be dealing with at the time! Coincidence?- say it with me now- WE THINK NOT! Today I am grateful/thankful for the following...

  • to be able to experience the joy (?) of another birthday
  • to have spent time with my loved ones
  • that I am happy for the life my mom and sister share
  • I can choose to stay stuck in the 'poor-mes', or not
  • tonight I get to go to my after care group, and an AA meeting
  • AAngel and I are truly blessed with love for each other
  • we have everything we need today, and then some
  • after numerous attempts this AM, I was finally able to access my bloggy!
  • all of you who share my experiences, fears and other craziness, and keep coming back
  • my fears are not nearly as bad as they used to be
  • turning 46 is not so bad after all!

I'll be stalking to y'all soon...



13 comments:

Syd said...

Happy Birthday. It sounds like a nice party. Having a party with those closest to you is better IMO than the big events. Just remember you are getting better, not older.

Namenlosen Trinker said...

46? You're still young, girl. Enjoy what ya got while ya got it!

"Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. — Victor Hugo"

Krista said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLIE GIRL!! It sounds like you really enjoyed yourself, that's great. Your blog today was very uplifting and something I needed on these so-so sorta days. Well, I'm glad you're well. Talk to you soon!!

Cori said...

Happy Birthday anyways!!

sharonsjourney said...

Well, happy birthday gurl! Yea, enjoy it while you got it. I find that since I've been in the program I'm getting younger. Your family sounds lovely, & so does that house!

I know what you mean about people hurting your feelings. I got my feelings hurt today by some friends. People just don't think sometimes. Me too. I'm still a people addict, but am getting better, I'll have to work on that from here on in.

lash505 said...

happy Birthday you young babe...

Shadow said...

to all you birthday people: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

and thanks for the post, it took me a long long time to realise that to be dependent on other people to fulfill my needs is NUTS!!! but i did. and it made me very unhappy and unfulfilled. now that i know who responsible for me, namely me, life's a huge amount better, easier and happier.

Pam said...

Forty six is FABULOUS !!!
good post today pumpkin seed.

Shannon said...

Happy Birthday! and I totally get it! Hope today you and Angel do what you want!!!! (((HUGS)))

The Maven said...

Gah! I just looked on my calendar and realized that your birthday isn't on it! Why? Because I meant to transfer it from last year's and forgot (along with everyone else's)

So I'll call you tomorrow and wish you a happy birthday anyway (I looked for you after the meeting tonight but you were gone!). I'm sorry you didn't get a gift or a card or anything from your mom. I'm sure that hurt. But at least you had a nice time otherwise. Call you tomorrow *hugs*

The Maven said...

Ok, it's now technically Sunday and I still haven't called. I'll tell you why when I talk to you (which will now hopefully be later today!)

PS: is that emoticon who's chugging back the coffee you? Because she's doing the straight-up, black coffee thing. Or maybe that's a sugar dispenser...

Scott said...

happy birthday :-)

MICKY said...

TWELVE STEPS AWAY FROM CHRIST
Mr. Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and creator of the twelve step program. Mr. Wilson was heavily influenced by demons. Chapter sixteen (p. 275f) of 'Pass It On' The Story of Bill Wilson and how the A.A. message reached the world records Mr. Wilson's use of the ouija board, participation in seances, psychic events, "spook sessions", table levitation, and how he would receive "messages" from "discarnate" spirits. Bill Wilson was clearly in contact with demons, and this is the man who created the deceptive twelve step program. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (step #11. Emphasis added.) The last part of this statement ("as we understood Him") is enough to damn your soul! God says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5). This is the exact opposite of "God as we understood Him." All men, according to Romans 1:18-32, are condemned before God, because they rely upon their own understanding (Romans 1:21; Ephesians 4:18, "having their understanding darkened"), and they create (in their own darkened minds) a god of their own making (Romans 1:23). To encourage people to turn their "lives over to the care of God as we understood Him", is to encourage people to "turn their lives over to a god of their own making" (i.e. according to their own understanding). This promotes nothing more than spiritual death (Revelation 22:15). In addition, these twelve steps are a deceitful attack against the saving work of the Lord Jesus Christ (i.e. they are against Christ, antichrist, 2 John 7; Colossians 2:8-10). The twelve steps are (as Mr. Wilson used them) given as an answer (a way) in which one can overcome sin (with Mr. Wilson's case, the sin of drunkenness). Jesus Christ is the ONLY answer for sin. He is the only way (John 14:6). There is only ONE "step", and that is faith in the Savior (Ephesians 2:8/Matthew 1:21/John 8:36/Romans10:13)! The above exemplifies the "twelve steps" are what are used to "become free from addictive, compulsive" behavior (i.e. sin). In other words, the twelve steps are the savior! No doubt it is deceptive, because "Biblical principles" are interwoven throughout; but if they weren't, few (if any) would be deceived. One good question to ask would be, "Where does Scripture talk about any 'twelve steps'"? The answer? Nowhere! These twelve steps come from Satan (via Bill Wilson), who is the master deceiver (Revelation 12:9). Remember, Satan used Scripture to tempt Christ (Matthew 4:6), and Balaam spoke much truth (Numbers 23-24); but he was a false prophet (2 Peter 2:15-16/Numbers 22). In Matthew 7:13-14 Jesus warned, Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Jesus likewise warned in Luke 13:24, Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY