It's the crack of noon, and what do I see? A teenager sleeping so peacefully.... 
Yes, there is my AAngel sleeping soundly, do ya think she feels safe as she dreams away? When she was little, after I would tuck her in and read a story, AAngel would say "mommy, watch me sleep!" The thing is, I would sit and watch and after a while, get up to leave, at which point those big blue peepers would pop open again and say "watch me sleep" to which I would reply " I can't watch you sleep if you're not sleeping!" To tell the truth though, there are not too many things more beautiful that the image of a sleeping child (at least we know they're safe, not getting into trouble, and best of all, not talking back! LOL).
Last night at my relapse prevention group, someone asked the question- If you quit drinking (or using) on your own, and say quit for 9 months or so, and then drink again, is this a relapse? Well this question evoked many opinions and opened up a pandora's box. The thing is, if one has quit on their own, which many of us do in order to prove that we do have control , eventually we will drink again, right? And if we have quit on our own, this would imply that we have not had a program of recovery, so maybe the ultimate drinking would just be a continuation of our addiction which has not been active for a time? We all know that just stopping does not mean we are in recovery, hell, who among us has not attempted to remain sober for a day, a week, a year, whatever. And do we not recognize many who have actually quit, but have not made any other changes in their lives, save putting the top on the bottle, are they IN recovery or simply 'dry'?
I think a part of what bothers me the most is that for this person, he says he has quit using his DOC on his own and doesn't feel that he needs AA or NA or any other program- he just stopped using. Great. But I know , for me, I do need the support and love and guideline to living that AA promotes. I know for me, I have quit a time or two before, with the help of AA, and after a time, have thought I was cured or fixed and stopped going to meetings, and eventually drank again. I understand that there may be people out there who are addicted and are able to maintain abstinance for many years or forever without a program, I also know that this does not include me! Furthermore, when the gifts offered in AA are free, save for the Twelfth Step, which is actually a gift in itself, why would anyone WANT to try to do this on their own... I just don't get it!
Maybe todays 24 Hours a Day reading will help me out here...
"We have an allergy to alcohol. The action of alcohol on chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy. We allergic types can never safely use alcohol again in any form at all. We cannot be reconciled to a life without alcohol, unless we can experience an entire psychic change. Once this psychic change has occurred, we who seem doomed, we who had so many problems that we despaired over ever solving them, find ourselves able to control our desire for alcohol". Have I had a psychic change?
Ask God in daily prayer to give you the strength to change. When you ask God to change you, you must at the same time fully trust Him. If you do not fully trust Him, God may answer your prayer as a rescuer does that of a drowning person who is putting up too much of a struggle. The rescuer must first render the person still more helpless, until he or she is wholly at the rescuer's mercy. Just so must we be wholly at God's mercy before we can be rescued.
I pray that I may be daily willing to be changed. I pray that I may put myself wholly at the mercy of God.
So, unless you have other plans, I wish each of you a great day!
14 comments:
Oh, don't we all look like angels when we're sleeping? That's a great picture.
You posed some hard questions there. I know people who have done it on their own ... after a crisis. And I know people who have had structured help.
I don't know.
I hope that you have a great weekend! Be back on Tuesday!
watching others sleep is a beautifully intimate time--I watched a new Mom watching her new baby sleep in the very noisy breakfast meeting this morning--I so envied her her focus
She sleeps in THAT position! Blimey! Looks v.uncomfortable.
"If you quit drinking (or using) on your own, and say quit for 9 months or so, and then drink again, is this a relapse? "
My answer would be "Yes". Relapse." I've heard similar discussions in the rooms over here of late.
Hope you're well today.
K
I am just glad that it's NOT MY JOB to judge other eople's sobriety. That is a burden I can do without.
Thanks.
I'm with Daave. All I have to worry about is whether I am sober. And I know what I need to do to stay that way today.
i didn't do aa. i went to rehab. they had a programme of their own that they followed which included a bunch of different aspects. it's worked for me, so far... there are no meetings, sponsors, etc etc. although they offer free councelling sessions for 6-months after you've left rehab.
i just believe that whatever programme you followed that got sober and that worked for you is good.
and to me, taking a drink or drug after consciously deciding you have a problem and need to stop, is a relapse. obviously if you didn't go through a programme, you may not be aware that you can be in a state of relapse without actually having drunk/taken anything, but that's all just a matter of knowledge. but as many people are out there, as many opinions there will be...
Great post. I love to watch my kids sleeping. I have so many pictures of them like that. They are all angels.....while they sleep.
Hmm, is it relapse? I say yes. If you quit using or drinking, no matter how, and you drink or use again, yeah, i think it is a relapse? I think diffrent things work for diffrent people.
Glad you are feeling better there.
Well, I did not really understand the question. Lots of people get sober with or without AA. I don't think it really matters how. I just know what works for me.
Even AA agrees that AA isn't for everyone. I can "attract" but I can't drag them in kicking and screaming. (Well, the courts can, but that's a different story. I'm not an agent of the government).
I went five years without drinking in the 70's but I'd never admitted the problem was mine, not my husbands. I quit to help him stay sober.
It worked fine as long as my life was working. When it didn't, I went back and they were the worst couple years of my life.
It may have been what I needed to finally go to my first meeting just for myself in late '79 after a month of struggling on my own.
I never considered that first failure a relapse; mainly because I didn't think then that I was the one with the problem.
I don't think it matters. It's one of those topics we love to discuss but in the end it's whatever works.
I do know people that are dry rather than sober though and many of them are so miserable I almost wish they'd go have a beer.
Hi, Lushgurl. There is no such thing as a bad blogger. I prefer to use intermittent. Good to see you are still trudging and that Angel is lucky to have you to watch her sleep.
Sometimes when I'm off drugs say for two weeks, I would start celebrating and present myself with a dose just to prove that I'm in control. Shessh! Now, I know better.
Thanks for sharing. Reminded me of my past life.
p/s You would like it to see me sleeping, lol!
yes our babies do look like angels when they sleep, no matter how old they are... : )
Have a great day lush!
The rest is a quiet time. It doesn't last long though.
Hey gurlfriend, I haven't heard from you in a while. Would love to hear from you. You'll be surprised when you go to my blogsite. I changed the look, & the title. I'm still sharon's journey, my blog title is fellow trever. And I have links on it! It's about time.
Hope to hear from you soon.
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