JUST LOOKIN'

TodAAy I am just lookin' to see everything I can, if you want to see more, go here ...http://haalfnaakedthursday.blogspot.com/ , care to join me "seeing" what our HP wants for us todAAy? Here is our Daily Reflection reading...

Some of us, though tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves.

Twelve Steps and Twelve and Twelve Traditions pg.79

This step seemed so simple. I identified several people whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available. Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer, who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my temper and the friends that I had shunned, without explanation. As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight took on new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable when I feel clean and light.

I can't even count the number of times I said that the only person I was hurting was me. In typical self centered form, I truly believed my own lies, it was easier at the time to hang onto resentments that allowed me to basically say "F*** them all anyways, my anger being the excuse to drink, and my justification for thinking that I wasn't hurting anyone! In the reading it mentions hurting our parents, and today I know I did that. I remember one time in particular after I had been in a head on collision with a drunk driver going the wrong way on a one way street. Thankfully, I had drank only one drink that night. Thankfully I sustained only an open head concussion that needed only eleven stitches. Unfortunately, my practically brand new Mustang was written off, with a year and a half of payments left on it. Upon leaving the hospital I had to stay with my parents because of the concussion. My mom cried when I got there saying "You could have been killed". My dad said I shouldn't have been driving that night due to the freezing rain. And all I could think of was poor me, I had lost my car! Insanity- yup! Did I drink and drive after that? You bet I did!

Today I am thankful/grateful for the following...

• to wake up clean and sober and have the choice to remain so
• I don't intentially hurt anyone
• if I do hurt some one, I can immediately make amends
• the love of my family and friends is something I cherish today
• to have everything I need today, and enough to share too
• the antics of my baby kitten as he explores and learns and grows
• every single day AAngel and I hug multiple times, and say we love each other
• I am not afraid to face my CAS worker when he shows up at our home for a visit (soon)
• I am a part of a very supportive and loving community of AA here, and in my 'real' life
• for you and you and your moms and dads who made you!

See ya soon...