Sunday, September 02, 2007

I'VE BEEN THINKING

So much has been going on in my life lately, I have been dealing with a lot of old stuff that has seemed to make a return appearance in my life since I have become clean and sober. Sometimes I envy the people who only have to deal with addictions. Selfishly, I am relieved to discover just how many others are out there who have 'other issues', as they say in the Big Book. The thing is, I first started this blog for fun, and then I discovered a whole world of people out there in recovery, Oh Joy, Oh Bliss! So I have made a decision to start another blog where I can share my feelings about self-esteem and self-image as well as a place for me to vent about family of origin issues. I think it will be by invite, as some of you may not relate or even be interested. If you would like to check me out let me know and when I'm up and running I'll send you an e-mail.

Here is today's Daily Reflections reading:

If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on.
As Bill Sees It pg. 8

Sobriety fills in the painful " hole in my soul" that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery that willingness to grow. Today I am willing to grow.

As usual, I find it is no coincidence that this reading directly reflects what I have chosen to do in my recovery. I have been praying to have the willingness to finally deal with some other issues that have so plagued me in the past. Actually, my avoidance of doing ALL the work, I believe, sent me back out on more than one occasion. Today I value myself, my sobriety, and all of my friends and loved ones. Here is yet another example of how my HP takes care of me, I am now actively working on Step Three with my sponsor, and there is a reading from the Big Book, Chapter Five, that says:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way, what we used to be like, what happened and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol- cunning, baffling , powerful ! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power- that One is God. May you find Him now.

Half measures availed us nothing, we stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon..."

With that I will pray that each and every one of us have a peaceful , loving day, safely tucked into the caring arms of God- I love you all.

13 comments:

sharonsjourney said...

Funny you should bring this up. I'm having trouble with willingness. I just finished my 5th step, but I feel like I need to do more. I didn't have a whole lot of character defects, & I know I have more. In fact, that's what my blog is going to be about. I'm interested in your blog you are starting. When I find your email, I will email you my email. Keep On Keepin' On! Thanks for stopping by, I love you too!

Mary Christine said...

I hope you find the relief you need.

CraZStaZ said...

Hi Lushgirl,
Friend of Pam...non AA. But I am 46. And I can relate. However, as I reminded myself on my bday, turning 46 doesn't suck half as bad as NOT turning 46. I'm sorry your mom forgot your card. Sometimes when you tell people to not make a big deal of your birthday, they take you seriously. Next year, tell them all to make it a big deal. : )

Anyway, for what it's worth, from another 46 year old woman on the planet...Happy Birthday!

dAAve said...

Dear, I believe we ALL have issues. Alkies or not. It's all in how we choose to deal with those issues that helps define us.

Shadow said...

that was beautiful! and meaningful! thank you!!!

p.s. already did the 8 random things, sorry...

Krista said...

Lovely post, I like how you include those passages that keep everyone motivated...Thanks for reiterating the basics, miss ya!!

therapydoc said...

At some point, LG, the more the blogs the more the stress. Why not just talk about that stuff here? Just a thought.

Scott W said...

Thanks for sharing from the heart. Step 3 and 11 will take you there.

recoveryroad said...

It's Chapter 5. :-)

[yes, I know that no-one likes a smartarse... lmao]

Syd said...

It was all the other issues though that got many people into alcohol or drugs. I have those issues and am working on them. It is all about humility, willingness, and surrender.

Christine said...

good to be
on Step 3!
hang in there darlin'

Scott said...

kep on moving forward through the Steps, more will be revealed... some stuff we like, some not so much but we need to sort it all out! :-)

Granny said...

If you decide to start another blog, let me know please.