AH, TO BE FIFTEEN...

Devilteen is upstairs chillin with a b-friend, in her room, the door is opened, I can hear them talking, I can check on them if I want to, they're not doing anything inappropriate... Wassup wit dat? I NEVER would have had a boy in MY room at that age! Come to think of it I never had a boy anywhere at that age ...The funny thing though is that I totally trust her wow! I guess it's kinda cool you know, because I trust her, she doesn't have to hide, and because she's not hiding I trust her.

I just wanted to do things differently than my parents did, not that they did bad, but I just knew in advance what to not even ask for...like having a boy come over to visit, let alone having a boy come to visit me in my room!! At least this boy, I'll call him Stringbean (he's very tall), is not afraid to come to Devilteen's house with the momma home and stuff. He even asked where to hang up his jacket when he got here! It's nice to know that all teenaged boys are not punks, some of them are polite and have manners and respect adults.

Unlike most of the kids who live in my neighborhood, this kid actually GOES to school. He has two parents living in the same house. He doesn't smoke dope! The kids around here can be found, most nights(and days for that matter) hanging around the covered parking lot with a case of beer passing around their doobies like it's a perfectly natural thing to do. I sure am glad that Devilteen is not that kind of kid! Once upon a time Devilteen might have been that kind of kid, but since she's been living 'away' she really has seemed to have matured.

I am SO proud of the young lady that she is becoming, right before my eyes, and seemingly overnight, she seems to have been transformed from an angry ,self-centered teenager into a wonderful person. Don't get me wrong, she was never a 'bad' kid but I was pretty messed up myself for a while and so, of course, she acted out. You know strange as it may seem, Devilteen decided to make the changes in her by herself. I didn't have to nag or beg or threaten or anything equally uncomfortable as that. She just decided one day to do something more with her life! Go figure, I must have done something right after all!

It reallly can be a tough world out there, at the very least I always tried to give Debaby choices. As she got a little older sometimes she would not make great choices, but if it was not life threatening or anything I would let her go ahead, and sometimes, when there were consequences, Devilteen would even learn from her mistakes! If you don't do homework, and you skip school and smoke dope, you will probably not pass your grade. If you show up at school do a moderate amount of homework, and don't get into serious trouble then you may actually graduate and have a chance at a life.

I've learned in my advancing years, that you just can't MAKE a kid do something, sometimes as a parent all we can do is instill good values and teach them self-respect and let them venture forth into the world knowing that they are truly loved and that we will always be there for them, no matter what! I think I have done that. Of course niether one of us is done 'growin up' yet we are both still works-in-progress, but so far I think we're turning out not too badly!

I made a desision the other day to be more patient and tolerant, just generally to be the kind of person that even I would want to be around. I tell ya though, it ain't easy sometimes! I had to remind myself several times today to calm down. For example when Devilteen and I were out shopping, we were waiting in a line at the check outs and there were lots of people and only two cashiers... OH MY GOD... breathe lushgurl, set a good example for the child. Don't throw a hissy fit just because the dumb store staff don't consider twenty people in a line up to be cause to open a third cash! You see it's all in how we react to a situation. Had I let my impatience get the better of me I'm sure I may have caused a scene hence embarrassing my self and my child and making it very difficult to return to that store again. I didn't lose it totaaly though, Iheard myself complaining and made a decision to stop. Who knew it could be so simple?

Ultimately though I know I did the right thing. I don't have to hide my face in shame. I'm not afraid to show my face in the store again and I left feeling o.k. and nat stark raving mad and in the throes of a full panic attack. Whew, I passed shopping test number one, I may just give it another try someday soon! All in all Devilteen and I are having a great weekend together , she even told me that she had fun with me today, music to a mothers ears. I think I'll keep her!!!