WHERE DID THE WEEK GO?

Wow I can't believe that Friday is almost upon us! Is it just me or does it seem that the older we get the faster time flies? I remember when I was little waiting for my birthday or Christmas to come, the time passed so slowly, I thought I would die of anticipation. These days it just seems like I finally catch up on the day of the week and then there it is gone!!! I was sick earlier in the week and the time seemed to freeze, but now that I'm feeling better, with energy to do stuff, there doesn't seem to be the time to get stuff done!

Of course this computer does not help the time pass more slowly either. I just sit down ( I think) and all of a sudden hours have past! I did get some productive things accomplished today though. I've done some laundry, I took the garbage out and I vaccuumed my place, oh and I cleaned out the bird cage too. Does it sound to you like I'm trying to justify something? Does it sound like maybe I feel guilty or what? Very perceptive!!! In reality, I don't know how I managed to get anything done, I've been so busy playing free-on-line computer games!

Yes I confess. I am not only a Blogaholic, but I have found myself spending hours playing computer games. I've heard of people who have serious addictions to the internet, I wonder if the free-on-line games count? It's not like I'm visiting porn sites or anything, and I don't feel that I'm neglecting housework or other things. But still, it feels like a guilty pleasure somehow. I need to get a life! Maybe a job or something.

I shared this dilemma with a friend of mine not that long ago. It was shortly after I had received my new computer with it's big beautiful screen and all kinds of neat features that I didn't have before. I found myself actually avoiding things and people so that I could "play". The hope was that the novelty would wear off at some point, but this week has been a blur! Thank God I have my meeting tomorrow night, it's a commitment I have made to myself and others and it will give me a chance to venture out into the world of humans once again.

Another reason I am looking forward to tomorrow, well there are actually several reasons- I get to spend yet another weekend with Devilteen. Sounds a little crazy huh? but I actually miss her when she's not here, we have been doing things together lately, like playing scrabble and going out for walks together, all the things that kind of got neglected when I was still using. Tomorrow I get to meet a new friend in person too. Funny that I find that exciting, I used to panic at the thought of 'having' to meet someone new, maybe I am actually being transformed into a reasonable facsimile of a normal person. Oh and of course we mustn't forget getting to see The Baby! and his momma, of course. I will be able to hold him and cuddle him and then send him home until the next time I get baby fever! It's ALL good.

As much as I enjoy my alone time, it can be very dangerous for me too. It's like slipping back into old patterns for me, you know, I leave the house long enough to get junk food. I play my games, not answering the phone and not making plans...kind of reminds me of the 'old' days of drinking and using. The good news though is that I crave the company of others today. I don't like having too much alone time and I try to get out for a walk and some fresh air several times a week even if I have nowhere to go (the liquor store was always a destination before). I think I am kinda looking forward to working again too, it'll break the monotony of so many hours with nothing to do. On that note, I will say good night for now, and go do some homework for my therapist, I'm going surfing for some career ideas wish me luck!