MY BABY IS GROWING UP

I cannot believe that this week my little AAngel will be sixteen! I honestly don't know where the time has gone! I often look at pictures of her when she was a baby, and really, she pretty much looks the same, only bigger. I so loved being pregnant, and I was sober at the time, so I remember very well all of the changes going on within my body. For me it was a feeling of true joy and wonder, to actually know that there was a life growing inside me. I remember the first ultra sound, and seeing the little heartbeat, and crying tears of joy and gratitude that for whatever reason God had chosen me to be the mother of this little miracle. It really was a spiritual journey. Even now, when I see a pregnant woman , I feel overcome by the emotions. I also think often of how AAngel looked when she was born, clearly this child had been on this earth before! She came out looking perfect (due to a c-sec), but it was more than that. She had the look on her face as if she recognized stuff, a knowing and very wise look. You know how some babies come out screaming with their hair standing up on end, angry to see the lights and hear the sounds of life? It's like they're saying "I wanna go back in, I don't like it here!". There was none of that with AAngel, her perfect little face surveyed her new surroundings, and her cry was low but demanding, like she just knew everything would be OK, and all of her desires would be met. Without any reservations or hesitation, I can honestly say that the day she was born is, and forever will be, the very best day of my entire life. So this post is dedicated to my beautiful AAngel...

Here is today's Daily Reflection reading, on this day sixteen years ago, my AAngel was preparing to be born- yes, I was in labour for 30 hours before she finally decided to make her appearance!...

Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 20

Self-centeredness was my problem. All my life people had been doing things for me and I not only expected it, but I was ungrateful and resentful they didn't do more. Why should I help others, when they were supposed to help me? If others had troubles, didn't they deserve them? I was filled with self-pity, anger and resentment. Then I learned that by helping others, with no thought of return, I could overcome this obsession with selfishness, and if I understood humility, I would know peace and serenity. No longer do I need to drink.

Today I am eternally grateful and thankful for the following...

• that AAngel chose me to be her mother
• to be able to embrace motherhood, even with all of the trials and tribulations
• that being a mom has taught me so much about my mother
• that being a mom has taught me so much about me
• that all in all, I truly love the person that my daughter is becoming
• I am sober and fully present in my daughter's life today
• God has given me everything I need today, and then some
• for the opportunity to help my AAngel be the best she can be at whatever she chooses
• for each one of you
• today is our friend MC's 23rd AA birthday- drop by and give her some lovin' huh!