Todays raeding from 24 Hours a Day is a continuance from Sunday, yes I missed Monday, but I am striving for progress, not perfection!!!That leaves only one day- today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow might bring. Let us therefore do our best to live but one day at a time.
Am I living one day at a time?
I met with my sponsor on Sunday afternoon, and she thinks that I need to be working on a 4th step. I agree with her 100%, in theory. I think doing a 4th step is an excellent way to put things in proper perspective- for you. I have done several 4th and 5th steps before, and I know the results of sharing in the 5th is a new freedom and a relief to find that I am not all bad after all. And yet.... I love my new sponsor, about a week ago she suggested that I call her everyday, and I made the committment to me to do just that. What happened was, I didn't even call her once. So on Sunday she called me and asked me how she could sponsor me if I didn't call. For a moment I was filled with panic that she was going to fire me. But she didn't. I thought that maybe she was angry and might even yell at me, but she didn't do that either. I told her very sincerely that I thought I was afraid of her (all 4ft 10) because she seemed to accept me and like me and she didn't show anger and yell and, and , and... Then, the nerve of her, she said that if I want to stay sober, I need to change- my behaviours, my thoughts, my actions! Aw crap, she called me on my sh*t, no more really good excuses are gonna work with this woman, I'm gonna hafta change!
Last night I went to a meeting that I attended on a regular basis last summer, at my sponsors' suggestion. Am I ever glad I went. There was a twenty three, a fifteen, and a one year anniversary. The speaker was a relative new comer like me, but his message was powerful and honest, and he spoke alot about change. For me it was an eye opener in that this used to be a regular stop in my week, and I remembered attending the anniversary of two of the people this time last year. The third person I remember just coming to the program, he was so shaky and unsure and now? He is grateful and sober still, and even happy, I can see how much he has changed, what a miracle this program is!
Today I am grateful/thankful for the following...
- to be able to see the changes in other people
- that I was lucky enough to witness the miracle of so many sober years
- that my sponsor will not let me stay the same
- none of my bones are broken
- I have my sight
- I am able to hear (when I choose to listen)
- both AAngel and I survived to see her turn 16
- yesterday AAngel and I became new mommies- to a kitten, his name is Cinnamon
- I woke up clean and sober today
- today is the last day that I will have to wake up alone because AAngel comes back home tomorrow
- for all of YOU- your support, your love, your comments
- today I believe there is a power greater than me!
Have the best day possible today!
16 comments:
Best of luck on your forth step, my friend. I know you will do well.
I'm going to change too.
If I can have a kitten every day I would, yah, cuz I am addict of all sorts! LOL. Thank God for my BF, he draws the line, and we have a full house.
Thank goodness for sponsors. You know, sometimes I fear my sponsor's reaction to my reactions. Oh how she is so elegant and connects to me in the clearest way. I am getting that you are having a similar experience with yours. Our minds are our enemies right now, our sponsors are here to be on our side.
I adore your post!
strong sponsorship---it can work--but I hate getting called on my crap too
I think you and angel getting a baby together is a GREAT way to start your lives together...it's very symbolic....excellent.
"the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down"
haven't heard that before but it sounds so very true. gonna remember that, thanks!
I thought that my fourth step was powerful. I'm glad that I have a great sponsor also.
cute kitten! it sounds to me like you have an awesome sponsor! stick close by her!
Hope that you have a great weekend! My plan is to get some rest!
you agree in theory? that is adorable... aren't we alkies just crazy? I wonder how well theoretical sobriety works.
The kitten is so cute....I agree with Pam.
I love that reading. I'm just now learning to stay in the day, & my days have been so much better, I enjoy them more, I get more done..most of the time.
Sounds like you have a great sponsor. That reminds me, I need to start calling my new sponsor, I like her alot!
I loved your post, you sound so positive.
Love Ya, Sharon
Cinnamon is one lucky little kitty!
Awww....love kitten snuggles. Today is the only way that works for me. Good luck on your fourth..it will rocket you into the fourth dimension.
The fear of tomorrow is flying through my head like a bullet from a gun.
Thanks for reminding me about trying to keep it in the day.
Wow it sounds like you have an amazing sponsor *and* a very cute kitten. No wonder you are giving thanks, Lushgurl!
Where is Lushgurl?
hey! hope you don't mind but i just had to 'borrow' your weather pixie, she's so cute...
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