WHAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR...PARTE DEUX!

Yes my Maven it IS all about you, I just didn't have time to finish my post before you left that sno, I mean sarcastic message on the last one...

In the last eight months or so, my ego has been wounded again and again. Sometimes without the offenders meaning to and others' blatantly by insulting me. The following non-sensical post will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that
A) I am an alcoholic and my life has become unmanageable...
B) My ego is often bigger than my brain...
C) Those unfortunates who choose to call me friend are more f-ed up than I am...
D) There are actually moments that I am needed!!!

The day before yesterday I was up around 7:00, this is clearly NOT o.k. with me as it gives me more time to reflect on the sad, sad state of my so-called-life. A friend had called me to go and visit, which was all good on paper, but said friend whom I love dearly, has many gremlins, whom I also love dearly. She also has two cats, a dog, and a husband (see earlier mention for the love thing!). The point is that I enjoy going to visit, there is never a lack of excitement (read stress) at her castle, however, being the (part-time) mom of one child with no husband, I often find it just a tad overwhelming to play at her place. In true Lushgurl form though I agreed to the visit provide I could grab a quick nap first... I knew I would need the energy to survi...I mean fully enjoy the experience!

At 2:00 I was rudely awakened from a dream I was having where Brad and George were fighting to see who would win my heart. It was a beautiful dream and so close to my real life that I wanted to see it through to the end! Yes and in this dream I had a beautiful teenaged daughter who loved me so much thay she didn't date or take off wit da g-friends on Saturday nights. She voluntarily did all of her homework, kept her room tidy and washed dishes without being asked! Oh and I was a long-legged natural blond with perfect-perky breasts!!! So the phone rang and the Maven said "Are you still sleeping?, I guess we'll have to post pone our visit because we really won't have time now..." HMMMPPHHH Interrupted from my fantasy to do what? Nothing! So I went back to sleep for a couple more hours after I had eaten much chocolate, to ensure that my winter store of fat does not diminish leaving me vulnerable to the cold and stuff!!

Wednesday morning I was up early too, but not as early as Tuesday. I received another phone call from a friend. This friend though, I wasn't quite sure I recognized. She was feeling overwhelmed with her life and the long list of chores that faced her each and every morning and this child of hers who is , shall we say, quite spirited, and a pretty newly arrived baby, and 'what was that?' It almost sounded for a brief moment there that she may have been intending to ask for help? Naw this couldn't be the Maven... she can do it all... Super-mom (with saintly patience) , Super- wife ( hot in bed and understanding of her man's whimsical mid-life I think I'll go back to school fantasies), Super-friend (with many loyal followers to vie for her attentions). Nope , didn't sound like the Maven that I prayed to nightly and strived to be more like in my daily life! So I ignored the whining poor mes that I heard faintly over the phone and said, let me get dressed, then you can come get me and we'll go play in your castle for the day...

LUSHGURL to the rescue. You see I, myself, have not been feeling that great about some of my life's work of late. I had just received word that my inconsiderate Devilteen might not want to return to this 'ghetto hole that I call home'. I haven't yet had the confidence or the motivation to look for a job, and no one, not even the guest of honour showed up at my monthly pity-party! As further proof of how much I suck, the partying goes on and the local watering holes that I used to frequent, the liquor store did not claim bankruptcy after I stopped shopping there and I can't redeem retroactive Air miles for the years I drank before I got my Air miles card!

THEY say, in the program that service to others is a crucial part of our recovery after we have managed to get and stay, clean and sober. Nobody told me that BEFORE I joined the program! It seems that the best way to stay healthy is to give back a little of what we have been so freely given. We even recite a little thing where we pledge to be there for another suffering alcoholic (must have been in the fine printing that no one ever bothers to read). Well, I guess that since people have been there for me I could be there for them. Of course it took a little convincing on my part as my friend often has difficulty accepting help, I've had to beat on her a couple of times just to open the door for her... I know, I know, even with the spawnling in a car seat, the diaper bag over your shoulder, bags of shopping items and a tray containing Timmy's coffees, you are quite capable of opening a stupid door...

While I was getting ready for this experiment of human cruelty, I made a decision. YES ME, ALL BY SELF, I made a decision to tidy up the castle at least a little) to cook dinner ( including dessert) and just kinda BE there for my friend who needed a little cheering up. Of course I only did it so that I could brag on my Blog about how great I am. Purely selfish motive I swear! The thing is after a really good and busy day, I just really wanted to go home and eat chocolate but that was not to be. As punishment for my selfless generousity, I was bought a coffee and brought to an AA meeting! THE NERVE! So here we are on a Thursday morning and I receive the morning phone call from a cheerful not-so-stressed friend to thank me! No,no, thank YOU. I feel better now. I've cleaned out the bird's cage , swept and mooped my kitchen floor, sorted laundry which is now ready to wash and even had time to Blog. See what goes around comes around. I don't think her children died from food poisoning, I feel better, she feels better, and hey, maybe someday in the not so distant future we can do this all over again. Thank you again for making my day my friend...Love ya lots (and before I go, thanks to the spawn who never ceases to bring a joy to my heart, a smile to my face, and barf to my clothing LOL)