HAVING A DAY!

Today I am going to save our daily reading until the end of this post, I practically know it off by heart because I have typed it into my blog three times already! That is why I titled this post "Having a Day" As a matter of fact, yesterday I 'had a day' too! I have referred to this phenomena of 'having days' in previous posts, but for those who aren't up to all of the "lushisms", I will explain...

I coined the phrase when devilchild was younger, about seven or eight, I think. I remember once she was getting ready for school and was in quite a mood! There was lots of yelling that morning accompanied by "I don't want to's " and various other behaviors that I don't feel the need to revisit today! Whenever devilchild left to go to school I always said " bye, I love you, have a great day!", but on this particular morning, my patience had thinned out considerably so I said "bye, I love you, have a day!". Apparently, the child did not appreciate the humour of this statement, and refused to leave until I told her to have a GREAT day!!! It was totally lost on her that only SHE could CHOOSE the kind of day that she would have!

So yesterday started off just fine- thank-you-very-much for me, but then I woke up Angel... and we were off... Maybe she didn't have a good sleep, maybe she didn't appreciate me waking her at the unGodly hour of twelve noon! I'm not sure, but suffice it to say, that all of my AA tools would be utilized in short order. For example- is my serenity linked to persons or events in my day? (No). Do I react with anger to someone else's verbal abuse? (No). Will I act on my immediate impulse to throttle the child for being disrespectful? (ummm, I mean No!). For another point of view to this story go here http://aangeldevilteen.blogspot.com/

What I did do however was pick up the phone (after a lengthy conversation with Angel of WHY I needed to use MY phone) and made several phone calls...all of which went unanswered. First I called the 'house where she lives' and asked them to come pick her up, I had had enough, thankfully they heard what it was that I had had enough of, as I was assaulted by various angry teenager words while I was making this phone call! After that I called my sponsor, but her phone had not been hooked up yet ( due to the red tape of changing phone services) and even though I had lent her my cell for the weekend, I was unable to ge through to her! The third call I made was to a friend, there was nobody home, but I left a message through gritted teeth and a tightened larynx, to please call 'cause I really need to talk to someone!!!

After that I called the house back and spoke to one of the staff who reminded me that , yes, someone was on the way to pick up the child. They suggested that I just leave her alon in her room until my saviour arrived- Hey, I gots NO problem wit dat YO! I have learned through working my program that I do indeed want to retain my sanity! I value myself enough to NOT wave a red flag before a bull! I kinda like the look of my body without angry red welts on it... avoid the child until she has calmed down or until Hell freezes over, whichever comes first! Even I could do that!

Shortly after I had been freed from my misery, I received a teary phone call..."I love you mommy, I'm sorry mommy, can I please come back now mommy,,," In case you're wondering, my 'mommy guilt' got the better of me, and yes my Angel did come back at 8:00 last night and no, there was no blood shed! We had a long talk in which I said that one of the reasons I suggested counselling was that it would be a safe place for Angel to express and dump some of the anger that she has towards me ( albeit warranted). I also told her that to call names and become verbally abusive was NOT an opotion that I would accept today, because I DO NOT deserve that!

And now for our Daily Reflections reading`

I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain any great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know. Alcoholics Anonymous pg.37

I believe that we in Alcoholics Anonymous are fortunate in that we are constantly reminded of the need to be grateful and of how important gratitude is to our sobriety. I am truly grateful for the sobriety God has given me through the AA program and am glad I can give back what was given to me so freely. I am grateful not only for sobriety, but for the quality of life my sobriety has brought. God has been gracious enough to give me sober days and a life blessed with peace and contentment, as well as the ability to give and receive love, and the opportunity to serve others- in our fellowship, my family and my community. For that I have "a full and thankful heart".

So I hope I have entertained you all for another day...stay tuned for the next post, in which I was tagged by Inmatez Wife! Peace and love to all today!