Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Hi there , I am back from court and still intact! We didn't get to see the Judge after all today, but you know what? I was prepared for whatever the outcome would be! Cool huh ! I made sure I was up early so I didn't have to rush around, I read all three of my daily meditation books, I ate some breakfast so my tummy didn't rumble in the middle of everything, I even had time to read all the amazing and supportive comments left for me by all of you! On my way to catch the bus I ran into a fellow AA who also has been very kind to me in the rooms...he was the one who gave me my 'seven' month chip 'cause he knew I still needed that outside approval (read the applause!).

I arrived at court early, Angel was there too, so I got and gave a great big hug AND she brought me a Timmy's coffee, I just knew I was going to have a good day! When I saw my lawyer I gave her the letter I had written to the Judge and she said it would be included in our formal papers, so that went well. It seems at this point all of the parties are in agreement! How did that happen? We are now asking for four months of society ward ship and then re-integration for Angel to move back home. Of course I know that the Judge will still have the final say to approve or not approve this, but I really think I will be OK no matter what the outcome is! Hmmmm, could it be that I have begun to change? I just am really feeling different these days (different is good right?) although I do have a small confession to make... I had a slip! NO not THAT kind of slip, I missed a day reading my 12 X 12 so now I hafta start at day one again! I figure if that is the worst thing that could happen to me today then all is good in my world!

All right, so here is my list of six weird things about me ( oh and THANKS a lot for all the suggestions that poured in to make MY JOB easier LOL)...

1) I am anal about the toilet tissue hanging thing... it HAS to wind down from the top, I have even changed it at friends' houses or public washroom's... good thing not everyone is as anal as I am!
2) I am afraid (terrified) to fly but have a goal of taking Angel on a vacation to um, Hawaii or the Carribean or Europe...maybe teleporters will be invented by the time I have enough money to go anywhere!
3) One of my favorite things to do in the world is gardening, but I am terribly allergic to pollen and grass and ragweed!!!
4) I absoluetly cannot sleep without a light on, even if it is just a night light. The curtains in my bedroom are sheer to let the outside light in!
5) For most of my adult life no one any where ever saw me without my make up on, not even my mother! I am much more accepting of me today though...just don't show up at my house unannounced!
6) Last (for this list anyways) but not least...I think I might have been a cat in a previous life! Yeah you heard right LOL my nails are very curved almost like cat-claws and I have been known to 'speak' to cats and have them 'speak' to me!!!

Are y'all happy now? Just when I was starting to get some credibility back into my life! But that was kinda fun really ( note to self- don't do that again!!!)

And here is one of the things I read this morning...

A World of the Spirit
We have entered into a world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. That is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 84

The word "entered"... and the phrase "entered into the world of the Spirit" are very significant. They imply action, a beginning, getting into, a prerequisite to maintaining my spiritual growth, the "Spirit" being the immaterial part of me. Barriers to my spiritual growth are self-centeredness and a material focus on worldly things. Spirituality means devotion to spiritual instead of worldly things, it means obedience to God's will for me. I understand spiritual things to be : unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things. As I maintain my sobriety, growing spiritually becomes a life long process. My goal is spiritual growth, accepting that I'll never have spiritual perfection.

On that note thank you again for all the love and support you have shown to me and my Angel and if there is such a thing as Karma, I hope all of you get all of this back in triplicate! HUGS and Love to all of you today!


Shadow said...

hey there! thanks for your kind comments on my blog. i enjoyed reading about you... see you soon.

Meg Moran said...

This is good...this is very very good. Little victories. Breathe them in and recognize that your HP is working in your life. Waiting is hard, but the signs are unmistakenly good, and your willingness to aceept the outcome is even better. You will be a powerful force to the next Mother that walks thru this and needs help. Much love to you as we trudge.

SoberSteve said...

Sounds Like you are using a lot of the tools in your tool bag. Keep using them and good things will follow.

I'm sure you do look great with or without make-up. Believe in yourself, others do.

Anonymous said...

awesome day - God bless you LG

acceptance, no matter the outcome is a grace I sure need to continue to pray for.

you inspire me, LG. what do you think about that! hehe

take care. enjoy the day.

Granny said...

One of my early posts on "granny" was a toilet paper survey. Over or under. Over won almost unanimously. One person, however, said she put hers on the back of the toilet because she was weary of being the only person in her house who knew how to put toilet paper on the holder.

I can identify with that.

Flying. I came into AA at 41 and had never flown and had sworn I never would. By the next year, I was on a plane - terrified but sober. I'll never enjoy it but I know I can do it if I have to.

One of my favorite AA readings is the 7th Step Prayer. It's walked me through many things I used to think impossible.

Hugs. Hope it continues to go well.

Granny said...

Afterthought on planes.

On my first trip, I was taking my boys on vacation back to Arkansas with the idea of reconciling with their dad (we did).

I thought I was doing so well until I noticed that every time I got up I was walking down the dead center of the aisle so the plane wouldn't tip. It was a 747 I think.

Talk about control issues!!

Mary Christine said...

You scared the crap out of me when you said you had a slip!

I just know that Angel will be with her mom soon.

vicariousrising said...

Your attitude is admirable! You are really working the program, and it is really keeping you in a good place. You're amazing, truly a great example. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

You sound strong Lush! I love how you shared your morning prep with us..just made me see how important the day was for you.I am sorry the judge wasn't around but you have the greatest outlook Lush..I just know all will work out in its right time and you are right on track.Keep up the precious self care...that is always the best way for many of us to start the day.
As for your weird things..shit I thought I was weird..pppfffttt meaoooowww...pprrrreeooorrooooarrr.
LOL..kidding.Love it !
Thanks for all you share:)

Lex-Sunshine said...

Hey Lushgurl! Yeah for you! No news is good news. Keep on keepin' on. LOVE the list. I HAD to sleep with a light on until I had over 3 years. HAD to. : ) I don't any more and its ok too.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Love your lists. I see that you're serene and content for whatever may come.

One of these days I gonna sneak up on you before I ring the bell. And don't you dare call the police!

sharonsjourney said...

I just realized, I spelled girl wrong, I'll get it right this time. Its more than ok that you put me on your links. I'm computer illiterite, so I have to have a friend do mine, I want to have my profile updated too. Thanks for commenting. Someday I would like to be in a healthy relationship, but for now, I'm totally focused on my recovery, it's too soon for a relationship, I don't need anymore character defects coming up LOL.

recoveryroad said...

Anal about toilet paper. Lmao. Sorry -made me laugh out loud.

Yeah, yeah, yeah - I have the humour of a child. I am Beavis or Butthead in disguise.

Thnaks for helping me stay sober for another day.


ps you ain't so weird, girly! ;)

Steven Novak said...

I'm going to find out where you live, break into your house, then flip all the toilet paper rolls around.

I'm evil I tell ya...evil. ;)


Shannon said...

I am afraid of the dark too! ahahah I am 30 and have to fall asleep with some kind of light too... LOL
right on

I love your attitude. You are doing all the right things, putting one foot infront of the other, and doing the next right thing and leaving it up to God.