Tuesday, March 20, 2007


This is what I read today in Daily Reflections...

Love and tolerance of others is our code.
Alcoholics Anonymous pg.84

I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every good spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it.
I must forgive injuries, not just in words, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons' sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other troubles that have nothing to do with my original problem.

How true is this reading for me? I can remember back when Angel was first born, her father and I struggled so much and eventually broke up. I had so liitle respect for him and the choices he would make, I used to get SO angry with him (for being late to pick up his daughter for a visit, for drinking, for dating yet another woman) and my sponsor would simply say "Pray for him!"... What d'ya mean PRAY FOR HIM? I want to rip his head off and feed it to him with an apple in the mouth!!! I just did not GET IT. How times have changed for me, and truth be told, I never would have believed that I would ever get to the point of being grateful to have met this man. Indeed, if we had not been together, I never would have had my Angel in my life!

I had a friend not so long ago who was so full of anger and resentment that it actually scared me at times. WHY? I think because I recognized in her, how toxic that anger was, it actually helped me to want to let go of my anger. I would listen to the rants "so and so did this and whathisname did that and girl is a tramp" and on and on... AND yes, on more than one occasion I would find myself as a target of all this hate. When we had a falling out and she no longer wanted to be my friend (about the time I rediscovered the program), it broke my heart. She was not always a supportive and loving friend, but still, who would be my friend if she wasn't?

I feel so much better today about my life, and about me. I still don't have a lot of friends, but the people who are in my life today are true friends. They love and support me unconditionally, they are healthy people leading healthy lives. I am making better choices for me and it seems to be attracting better people to me - how does that work? I never would have believed that I could be so accepting of others, even the ones who still rant and rave and spew hatred, I realize that God puts people in our path for a reason. Sometimes that reason might be to hold a mirror up to me to show me what I need to look at in myself. Today I can truly pray for those who have hurt me and I can pray for the willingness to forgive. I am so glad that when I do feel anger or resentment today I can look at myself to find out why I have such a strong reaction to people.

When I began my day today I felt good, followed my daily routine of coffee, blog-stalking, more coffee, more blog stalking! I wasn't seeing too many new posts and was starting to feel just a touch of resentment- don't these people realize that in my very unbusy life, I NEED my fix of new blogs to read? Then I started to read such beautiful and uplifting posts and *POOF*, resentment was gone, then I realized I had not yet eaten or read my Daily Reflections book. So I grabbed something to feed me with and opened up the book and the rest, as they say, is history!

Today I am going to do my best to live without the chains of anger and resentment. I think I'll have a great day, and how about YOU...


Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Frankly, I'm not having a great days lately. Got something on my mind. I'm happy for you. May your days be great, always!

I hope I'm one of the people who are in your life today are true friends.

Lex-Sunshine said...

What an awesome post and realization! thank you for sharing it with us! You know, I don't have a LOT of friends, but the ones I have are truer than true. I've been through some that I just didn't want to be friends with, out grew them, their negativity and their anger. I'm making good choices too and hanging on to (and out with) the winners! sounds like you are too!!!

vicariousrising said...

Excellent post. You sound really, really good. I can't believe how well you are taking to the program. I really can learn a lot from you.

I definitely have some anger issues. Not so much the resentments, but I do have some of the anger thang. Ah, well. I need to have something to do, lol.

Keep smiling! You make my day!

The Maven said...

What? You can... not judge people *wipes eyes* And still enjoy life?

Hahaha... I'm only half serious. And by that I mean I'm entirely joking. Yeah... :P

Sorry I missed your call. I was out in Farrhaven! I'll call you tomorrow. Hope you had a great day!

Mary Christine said...

I loved that reading this morning. It is wonderful, isn't it - to be free of this stuff?

Shannon said...

swwet I just know you had a great day,.. and I lost reading new posts too.

Anonymous said...

anger and resentment...

ya - having trouble with that rigt now

thanks for everything LG

God bless you my friend

Anonymous said...

I can't start my day with out my daily meditation reading.I love the way you share so honestly and tenderly from the heart Lushgurl!
YOUR blog is such a welcomed member out here..thanks for sharing with US :)

Miss Independent said...

Great post. Everywhere I turn lately is something else on forgiveness. We definately get what we neeed in this program. Forgiveness is what saved my life in this program and continues to on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing :)

Granny said...

My prayer for those I despised is brief and often said through gritted teeth.

"God bless "so and so". May their needs be met." It's Al-anon but a good idea can come from anywhere.

Four of the letters in word verification spell out "crud". That was my yesterday but today is bound to be better. It has to be.

Rex said...

It amazes me how it works like that always....I loves those moments when you just know beyond any doubt in the presence of a power greater than you....I call them "God Shot". Keep up the good work!

recoveryroad said...


what you said re your friend's anger....people said/say that about me: scary. I don't see it but enough people have told me so I guess there's some truth in it. I make a conscious effort to stay calm/try and be serene each day.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this stuff. I don't find it easy, even after nearly three years (ODAAT).