Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects I know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of it's inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.
As Bill Sees It pg.238
This false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like any drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it would lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antedote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first,toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lesson my own exaggerated suffering.
I feel almost like I have been grieving, but not sure what it is that I am missing. I know if I can remain calm and focus on all of the beauty in my life, then this icky feeling will pass... So again I am going to be grateful for the following:
- that I am clean and sober today
- even though it is Friday the 13th, I am not afraid
- I am able to cry for the pain of others'
- I am able to cry tears of joy
- that I feel love in my life today
- I ate something for breakfast
- although MY boys lost last night, it is only the beginning of the season
- my garden is still growing strong, despite the snowfall we have had
- my Angel is coming for the weekend
- I will get to speak to a new blogging friend on the phone this weekend
- my home group meets tonight and I have volunteered to be a greeter
- all of my beautiful blogger buddies who come to visit me at my place!
Well that's all I have for now, enjoy your today...I'll stalk to ya later!
17 comments:
Self-pity is something that I've done and it drives everyone away. When I feel my worst, it's because of the chain reaction of fear that leads to self-pity that leads to resentment.
yikes! self pity is where I've been and my sponsor pointed it out this morning again and and and
glad you are here.
if you would like a suggestion, when I feel like I'm grieving, its because I am, even if I don't know what for. I have found it helpful to sit down and write a good bye letter to all of the things I am letting go of. (my drugs, certain behaviors, fear of certain peoples opinions etc) I say good be in the letter to each one, and somehow I am able to let in all go.
good post, Lush. The grieving thing is a tough one, isn't it. Like Meg said, I know I feel grief but I sometimes don't even know what it's about -- I just try to stay in the moment in those times.
Ya, Spencer's video, huh? I know. I know. It moved me way beyond words, too. He understood that right away and wrote to me about feeling our own grief through someone else's. He GOT it before I did. I will continue to watch his loving video when I feel a sense of grief. It helps to hold me there, as well as helps to move me through by remembering someone else's pain.
Man, I am grateful to be clean today. And I am grateful for you, Lush!
Keep on giving it away, grl. You rock.
Peace,
Scout
Whew--Sorry I rarely leave that long of a comment. Don't know what got into me! ;-)
sometimes we just get in a funk. I know I do. I have learned to just keep doing the right things and ride it out. It always passes but it can been very uncomfortable and even worrisome - just keep doing what you are and it will pass.
((((HUGS))))
have a great night tonight at your home group
Oh lushgurl, I feel for you. Grieving is a real thing! I went thru it 3 different times, for good reasons. At one point of my grieving, I found that along with the present, came the past. So much loss, & so much hurt came to hit me, I wan in such pain, for a few months. I didn't realize it was past stuff too, until after the fact. I don't think that is self pity, I've been in that too, It's not as painful, is just like a drug, & sinking into quick sand. It can be hard to get out of. But, there is a difference, & when I'm grieving, don't you (anyone) dare tell me I'm in self pity! That's my story & I'm sticking to it.
Good post.
Love, Sharon
p.s. I tried those directions & they didn't work, I'm going to have to have someone show me, or do it. I have an eMac, maybe that's why. It shouldn't make a difference tho. Thanks.
I hope greeting at your home group will give you some relief.
girl, you are always about action, and that is what will always save your butt. A gratitude list, and being a greeter on a bad day....that's recovery in motion my friend.
oh thanx
until I read this, I didn't even know it was Fri the 13th today
what was that noise?
a black cat?
careful with that mirror...
I'm so freaked out!
I agree with Pam, greeting can help with the grieving! Hope you had an awesome night!
We just continue through the rough patches and through the smooth ones. It's guaranteed, things will change.
Gratitude lists (done daily) are great preventive medicine.
See my Saturday post; a post inspired by YOU!!.
Enjoy your weekend with ANGEL. Keep those boundaries, and keep you happy.
Keep it simple. Thanks again for another 24 hours.
peace
hugs and kisses
Steve
I just changed the color and fonts on my blog and made it my own... let me know if you need help : )
Love Meg suggestion. Have fun with Angel and enjoy your weekend.
{{{{{{LushGurl}}}}}}
I hope you find some peace of mind. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best.
~Judith
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