HERE COMES THE SUN ...

I wanted to post yesterday, because I thought I had a lot to say. But first I had the idea to download a picture to go with my post. I had a picture in mind, so all I had to do was find a suitable image and download it... simple, right? Well this is me we're talking about, and it seems that I had made plans and then told my HP what they were... As you may have noticed, there was no posting from Lushgurl yesterday! It all goes along with the theme of acceptance, I think. Try as I did, I could not find and download a picture of a winding road, not meant to be I guess! And on the theme of acceptance... even though it hurt like hell, I had begun to accept that Angel was not coming home. I had talked about it at length, here, there and everywhere (hey, I just noticed, there also seems to be another theme going on here, can you see it?). Anyway, having been able to let go of my child, I felt I was able to move on. Of course Angel is the child of (two) alcoholics, and faced with the possibility of having someone else make choices for her, decided to choose for herself! It seems that she has decided to come home YAY! But wait, there's more...

I am now faced with another fear, what if I am not able to be a good mom again? In talking to our Children's Aid Worker, Angel had asked about this very thing. The decision was made to allow her to come back home, but with a six month supervision order. So if our lives begin to unravel, she can still go back into care. Yippee, I think knowing that we have a back door, an escape hatch if you will, has eased some of the fears for both of us, We will not be condemned to stay together forever if things go terribly wrong! We can work it out... It seems that good old HP is telling Angel to "Get back to where you once belonged" ! On that note, here is today's Daily Reflection's reading...

Our spiritual and emotional growth in AA does not depend so deeply upon our success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs instead of kicking you down.

As Bill Sees It pg. 184

In keeping with the pain and adversity which our founders encountered and overcame in establishing AA, Bill W. sent us a clear message: a relapse can provide a positive experience toward abstinence and a lifetime of recovery. A relapse brings truth to what we hear repeatedly in the meetings- "Don't take that first drink!" It reinforces the belief in the progressive nature of the disease, and it drives home the need for, and beauty of humility in our spiritual program. Simple truths come in complicated ways to me when I become ego driven.

Today I am very thankful for the following...

• I can learn from my mistakes
• we all are human after all
• a good friend in the program has offered to pick up my medallion
• someone else is baking me a cake
• for me acceptance is the key
• the reminder that this is a simple program if I don't complicate it
• all we need is faith and fellowship and love- la la la la la- all you need is love....
• today I can choose to think positively
• for each and every one of my fellow bloggers- yes, that means YOU

Well, today I am off to go shopping with two teenagers- wish me luck!! Love you guys (just in case I don't survive said excursion!)