Tuesday, May 29, 2007

TOLERANCE, ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE

Hey there people! I survived my shopping trip with Angel, her friend ended up cancelling at the last minute, so it was just me and my baby. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. In the group home, each gurl is given $500.00 once a year for clothing, so Angel had half of that with her. I learned a lot about me during our travels! For one thing, I am no longer jealous about all the teeny tiny little gurls running around out there! Angel is a perfect little size 6, which would be a size 4 in American! I noticed when she was trying on clothes, that she had no qualms about it, she chose things that she liked, after asking my opinion. I also found out that I missed that most fun part of being a teenager. For me, clothes shopping is always, shall we say, traumatic? I have a very skewed self image, indeed to the point that, what I see, is often so distorted, that I cannot rely on my own judgement. So for me, the shopping brought up some old feelings, and that is really no surprise, as I am staying clean and sober. My sh*tty committee is trying to sabotage me by challenging my worthiness, through my body image. Thank God, I have a counsellor who knows me so well. We spent yesterday, helping to get me back on a good track.

Here is today's Daily Reflection reading, and as usual, it speaks to me about self acceptance...

The only requirment for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg. 139

I first heard the short form of the Third Tradition in the Preamble. When I came to AA, I could not accept myself, my alcoholism, or a Higher Power. If there had been any physical, mental, moral or religious requirements for membership, I would be dead today. Bill W. said in his tape that the Third Tradition is a charter for individual freedom. The most impressive thing to me is the feeling of acceptance from members who were practicing the Third tradition by tolerating and accepting me. I feel acceptance is love and love is God's will for us.

Today I am grateful/thankful for the following...

  • my feelings are nor facts
  • I can be happy for someone else's good fortune
  • shopping with a teenager can be a character building experience for me
  • I have more new blooms in my garden today
  • my "Boys" won against the Yankees last night
  • once I have accepted something, it no longer holds me prisoner
  • I am learning to love my body, one part at a time- I have cute little feeties!
  • Angel has decided to come back home to momma!
  • I have a safe place to lay my head at night
  • if my day sucks, I can start it over
  • to learn that love for self and others does not have to hurt anyone
  • to be clean and sober today
  • all of my fellow bloggers, yes, that means YOU!

Off to take pictures of my garden/jungle... If ya want to view my slideshow, click on view all images... Stalk to ya soon...

15 comments:

Tab said...

..character building experience..lol..I will have to remember that one the next time I
try shopping with my teen daughter!

Happy Tuesday Lush :)

Zane-nawwaa said...

Hi Lushgirl, post some more pictures of your "bloomin" garden.

Sober Steve said...

Thats great about AngAAl. Little steps with your daughter are great.

peace
steve

Mary Christine said...

My beloved "trouble" daughter was in a group home for 2 years between 16 and 18... I can relate to so much of what you write about that.

Clarity said...

Just as I was looking at the pix of your garden, church bells starting ringing from the church down the street. So pretty.

Granny said...

Tell the silly committees "thank you for sharing - now sit back down and be quiet".

Nael C. Robes said...

I know what you mean. I never appreciated my teenager body when I had it. I had all these hangups about my looks back then. Boy, if I could have seen how great my body looked then compared to how it looks now, I would have been really happy with it!

Meg Moran said...

I haven't met your outsides, but I sure love your insides!

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Angel has decided to come back home to momma! - That is Good news!

Pam said...

Fabulous Gratitude list..love it, love it.

Christine said...

really? Angel decided to come home? Whooppppeeeee!

Scott W said...

I could use some new clothes. I used to be a clothes horse, now I am just wearin' the basics.

Shannon said...

hey chica... I love your positive attitude! I love your post on self acceptance.. yep right there with ya...

lash505 said...

shopping with any kid is character building..Great post..

Shadow said...

hey! shopping and sizes.... drives me crazy. i always end up getting these huge sizes and having to take them back, cause, well, they are too big. got that same warped image of myself....