WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES

Just thought I'd share some more of my garden with you all, these are purple and yellow irises. I wish you could see them in real life, but hope you get how pretty they are! It is hAAlf nAAked Thursday, and it seems I began my preparation yesterday. Gawd, I felt so nAAked and exposed, but it felt good to be able to 'bare' my heart and soul to you. I continued to share my woes at Relapse Prevention group and again at the Rainbow Group. I feel lighter today, and I see my counsellor later....WHEW! Last night I was lucky enough to have a new(er)comer come up to me after the meeting. I had mentioned that my butt would be sitting at the Womens; group tonight, who knows, I may find a new sponsor, or at the very least, get some more phone numbers for my tool box. So shewas saying how she felt kind of at odds because she had the least amount of sobriety in the group, I quickly reminded her that all any of us had was today. No matter if we 'have thirty years, thirty days or thirty minutes, we are all only an arms' length away from that first drink. I think it is important to remember that. Then. before I could stop it, my big mouth blurted out "I'll see ya tomorrow at the womans' Group"... crap, now I've made a committment...thanks HP!!!

Here is today's Daily Reflection's reading... as soon as I opened the book and saw it, I knew I would be OK, the title today is "Happy, Joyous and Free", what are the chances? This is exactly what I have asked to be inscribed on my one year medallion...

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery, God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 133

For years I believed in a punishing God and blamed Him for my misery. I have learned that I must lay down the "weapons" of self in order to pick up the "tools" of the AA program . I do not struggle with the program because it is a gift and I have never struggled when receiving a gift. If I sometimes keep on struggling, it is because I'm still hanging onto my old ideas and..." the results are nil."

You see I have never doubted in a God of my own understanding, but many times I have been too busy listening to the sh*tty committee in my head that I am unable to hear Him speak to me. I was so touched last night by the outpouring of love and support to yesterday's post. I had been in so much pain, but when I read all of your comments, I broke down in tears of gratitude. I felt loved and accepted, and fully a part of this wonderful AA world - thank you all so much for showing me just how this program works everyday. Here is what I am grateful for today..

• I was able to post to HNT for the second time!


• the cleansing tears that I have shed


• for all of the support I have in my 'real' life and my 'blog' life


• I am one day closer to my 365 days of being clean and sober


• the road I walk upon is always changing for the better


• we are not alone in our trAAvels


• someday, I feel, I will be able to HUG some of you in person


• today is going to be another good day, because I choose it to be


• I was able to set a boundary with Angel and stick to it


• I want to take care of me today- what a change !


• for each and every one of my 'true friends' in blogland- yes that means YOU

It's gonna be very hot here today, I might have to spend my day hAAlf nAAked... for more hAAlf nAAked fun go here: http://haalfnaakedthursday.blogspot.com/