Wednesday, June 20, 2007

CAME, CAME TO, CAME TO BELIEVE...

Just in case you were wondering, this week I am working on Step Two. My sponsor has asked me to read it everyday this week, making note of anything that comes up for me while doing so. As I was reading, I kept thinking of my post title, and how a friend in the program described Step Two. He said. first he just came to meetings, his mind still a little foggy from all the years of drinking and using, not much could get in, and what did manage to penetrate his brain cells was just as quickly forgotten. After several months of regular attendance, the fog started to lift, he called this "coming to", as one who has been in a coma of sorts. He started to realize all of the things in life he had been missing while inibriated, and not just the outside stuff, but the feelings that had gone unfelt for so long. Coming to indeed! A while later, he started to hear people share how they had not done this alone, it was by turning to a Power greater than themselves that alcoholics found the strength and courage to stay sober One Day at a Time. This has always stayed with me, through the years when I was out doing more research into the evils of my disease. And for me just knowing that He was out there waiting for me to come back home, made it somewhat easier this third, and last time around in recovery.

Last night I attended a medallion night at Rideauwood, the facility where I attended treatment and where I go for relapse prevention and counselling. You could feel the serenity in the room, the joy was palpable, and the gratitude expressed by all who shared and received medallions for completing one year in the program. The folks at Rideauwood truly saved my life, I have no doubt that , had they not taken me back, I would surely not be here posting today. Here is today's Daily Reflection reading, for those who want to read it...

The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever fear remains.
As Bill Sees It pg. 61

Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life easier to face, but the time came when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatest gifts in AA for me has been the courage to take action, which I can do with God's help. After five years of sobriety I had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people in my life to help me do that and, through my working the Twelve Steps, I am becoming the whole person I wish to be and for that, I am deeply grateful.

On that note I will say bye for now, I have not been stalking y'all like I used to, and a really good friend mentioned it to me last night. I don't know who had the presence of mind to teach me how to link to you guys, but now I have no excuses, like I lost your number! I have a lot of reading to catch up on! Love you ALL!

14 comments:

Christine said...

congradulations darlin' on your year
hope you keep being good to you

Mary Christine said...

It's OK my friend. Just come by and say hello.

Pam said...

"One of the greatest gifts in AA for me has been the courage to take action"...girl, let me tell you...nothing is more true than that. I have watched you take action time after time (thru your postings)...and you grow a little each time. You are doing the footwork and it really shows...sugar butt.

Scott W said...

I get strength from our recovery blogger community. Some days I am more interested in reading than others, but y'all are always there and I have to thank you for that.

Sober Chick said...

We all get it at different times. Some right away, some many, many years later. It is a mystery, but as long as there remains meetings filled with the messengers we all have the chance to come to believe.

Blogging can get quite addicting, I know this from the past from my blog @ blogspot and my resent one. Hehee.

Muah! BTW I really appreciate your experiences and what a gift to see the growth in you. I gives this newbie inspiration!

Shadow said...

enjoy your 'coming to' process...

Nael C. Robes said...

It sounds like your sponsor is making you do some work and that is why you haven't had time for as much blog stalking. That is a GOOD thing. It sounds like things are going great. How's your baby girl doing?

Zane-nawwaa said...

Hey Lushgirl, thanks for stopping by today. Sponsor working ya huh. Good for you for taking direction.
Loved the dudette comment. Rock on.

Granny said...

Love you too!!

lash505 said...

read it again please...

Syd said...

I have to catch up and read what has been going on as well. I'm glad you're doing your Step Two. I am now on Step Five. Self-revelation is powerful.

dAAve said...

just passing through ...

Bouncing off the Bottom said...

Step Two was my version of coming out of the closet. To me, it was the beginning of the beginning of the real beginning of my life. You go, girl!

Carl Kirsch said...

I take the view that Step 2 is not a working step. For example, it does not ask you to do anything. It has no action verb, unlike Steps 3-11, that direct you to do something (or, more accurately put, describes the steps the original AA’s took to recover from alcoholism in the sense set out on Page 85 of the BB).

The book “Came to Believe” describes this evolution of belief that enabled AAs worldwide to believe in a power greater than themselves that in turn became the bedrock for their initial and continued recovery from alcoholism in the sense described on Page 85 of our BB.

(Joe & Charlie take the view that Steps 1 and 2 are not working Steps or Steps to be worked to recover, but simply state conclusions of the mind the AA comes to over time as a consequence of actions he took in the past inside and outside the rooms of AA.)

Much affection …

Carl Kirsch
Atlanta, Ga.