Sunday, June 24, 2007

HE CAN RESTORE ME TO SANITY



These are pictures of AAngel and Toughguy, on a rare occasion when he allowed her to cuddle with him!

Technically it is Sunday morning, so I thought I'd start to post since I haven't since Wednesday! I just don't know where the week has gone! I have been busy, so I know that's part of it, but gee, I remember Monday like it was yesterday, and here it is almost Monday again! First thing this morning I was supposed to meet with my sponsor to discuss Step Two. I was looking forward to this, we are getting along quite well and she is very smart. I didn't make it to our meeting though 'cause it was at 9:30 and I slept in!

I've heard that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing and expecting different results". I can definately see how my disease caused much insanity in my life. When I chaired my home group on Friday, I shared how I probably was an alcoholic from the first time I drank in earnest. I was plagued by blackouts very early on. I found them to be terrifying, but then I also thought that blackouts just happened whenever people drank! I continued drinking for about 10 years before someone clued me in to the fact that no, not everyone had blackouts, but did I quit drinking? No of course not, because I kept hoping that I wouldn't have another blackout. After spending years sober and in the program, I relapsed, I remember thinking that maybe I would be able to drink normally, since I hadn't drank at all for so many years. I was wrong! So I returned to AA again, and a few years later embarked on another drinking expedition...different day, same results. Insanity, yup, I've been there!!!

Here is today's Daily Reflection reading...
We are only operating a spiritual kindergarten in which people are enabled to get over drinking and find the grace to go on living to better effect.
As Bill Sees It pg. 95

When I came to AA, I was run down by the bottle and wanted to lose the obsession to drink, but I didn't really know how to do that. I decided to stick around long enough to find out from the ones who went before me. All of a sudden I was thinking about God! I was told to get a Higher Power and I had no idea what one looked like. I found out there are many Higher Powers. I was told to find God, as I understand Him, that there was no doctrine of the Godhead in AA. I found that Power to restore me to sanity. The obsession to drink was removed and- one day at a time- my life went on, and I learned how to live sober.

Once again I am struck with awe that this reading has to do with restoring me to sanity, isn't that what I am working on today? So, here is what I am gratefuil for today..
  • a loving God who sends me messages when I least expect them
  • a really good sleep after a very tiring week

  • my sponsor who forgave me for sleeping in this AM, we are meeting on Tuesday instead

  • for all of the delicious salads I have been eating this week

  • more blooms in my garden- pictures are coming!

  • I've been too tired/busy to blog-stalk y'all, but you're all still here!

  • I've not been too tired/busy to get to my meetings

  • my AAngel has been with me since Tuesday, and we are getting along very well

  • my AAngel gives the BEST hugs in the world, if or when I meet any of you for real, I can show you how she hugs!

  • to be more accepting of myself today

  • I am clean and sober today

  • YOU are clean and sober today.....Here I come, see you soon!

14 comments:

Granny said...

I believe most of us are alcoholics long before we pick up the first drink just as I believe there are alcoholics who have never (and may never) picked up the first.

I knew a few of those.

Scott W said...

I wet my pants the first day of kindergarten, glad I didn't do that at my first AA meeting!

Mama Dukes said...

what a sweet angel---happy it is going well for you two
HUGS!!

Judith said...

Great pictures of Angel and Toughguy!

I'm so glad you've gotten out of that insanity cycle. You've grown so much since I "met" you, and it's wonderful to be witness to the changes that AA has brought, especially to your relationship with Angel.

I hope you have a terrific week. Hugs and peace, my friend!

Shannon said...

awweee you and your kitties are sooo cute


yeah, when I first got here, I heard people sharing, that most people didnt drink like them... meaning- drinking like a total pig, with black outs, arrests, fights ect-LOL I remember thinking - everyone I knew drank like that including me... LOL so either A, I wasnt an alcohlics, or B, me and all my friends were... LOL we all were

Shannon said...

oh I meant to add, its amazing-that before we learn differnt, we dont realize how crazy and abnormal we are.

Pammie said...

Well as always....you fit right in! Glad you got back to your blog today...I miss reading my regulars when they aren't there. You and Angel getting along???? THAT'S FABULOUS.

Tabitha.Montgomery said...

{{ yep..still here..! }}

Shadow said...

congrats on having achieved sanity!

Syd said...

Angel looks content and so does Toughguy. Take care of yourself.

Recovery Road London said...

Tough Guy is the cat, right? ;-)

"a loving God who sends me messages when I least expect them"

please ask your HP to ask my HP to give me even a hint what I should be doing or what the plan is/might be/could be/was. Lol.

x

Mary Christine said...

Your Angel is beautiful - and so are you!

Shannon said...

you are still sooo cute!

Gooey Munster said...

Heck I was ill as a little girl waaaay before I took my first drink. I had a fear of people, was an isolator, and so much more.

Insanity, I know this dead on. Why is it we have to learn the hard way? Why is it our feelings have no memories? I don't know, but with God's Grace we can do this . . . together.

Your furry babies are sooooo CUTE!!!! Makes me smile automatically and how I love that!