Saturday, June 30, 2007

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA!
I am not sure where I found this quote, but think it is beautiful none the less..
" Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it. Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved, but for the patience to win my freedom."
Shantideva

Today feels like just another day. Yesterday I was feeling very stressed, as is common for me at the beginnning of the month. I am on disability right now, because of my panic disorder and depression, although I am able to work part time, I have not yet found a job. So once a month when my cheque arrives, I feel rich, that is until I have paid my bills, and bought groceries and usually there is not much left over for the rest of the month. I think for the most part I deal pretty well with having very little money, and I try to always be grateful to have "everything I need, and then some". I guess part of what is stressing me out this month is that my AAngel is turning sweet (or not so sweet) 16 on July 26th. She is not a greedy child by nature, so she has not requested the moon and stars to be delivered to her, but, as a teenager, it is becoming more difficult to choose gifts that she will actually want or like. And I am not flush with funds either, so that makes it even more challenging for me... This year there will be no party, and she said she doesn't want one. There will be a cake and the two of us and maybe a gift or two, and I think we will be alone at my moms' trailor in the semi-wilderness. So that is the best I can do for today.

Tomorrow is Canada's Birthday,*** don't ask me how old we are, 'cause I don't know! But we will venture out to down town Ottawa, to grapple with the swarms of the drunk and disorderly and hopefully get to see the fireworks display! AAngel and I haven't done this together for many years. When I was still drinking, she usually would be with friends or her dad, and when I wasn't drinking, it was usually too overwhelming for me to be around all those people so we never went to see the fireworks. As I am trying to do things differently today, I will go and have fun, dammit!!! I am not going to worry about tomorrow, I am going to stay in today, and today we are going shopping together, and the having a nice dinner. I have no idea what the rest of the weekend holds in store, but more shall be revealed! To all you Americans I hope you have a safe , sober and Happy 4th of July. I will try to catch up with you all in the next few days...until then, keep coming back- 'cause I love you's all!!!!


***Apparently, Canada is turning 140... that information being supplied by one of my American friends!!! Thank you to Granny for cluing me in...

14 comments:

Granny said...

I just read on another blog that you're 140 (I think). Does that sound right?

Whatever. Happy Canada Day from your friend in the states.

Pam said...

I think that sounds like a lovely birthday...and in the end, our children really remember the "time" we spent with them. You can sure make her feel special..with our without gifts. Your sobriety is an AWESOME gift to her..don't forget that.

Sober Chick said...

Perhaps you can get creative and spend some time with your sweet sixteen, reflect on some pictures and all the memories, the good ones that is cuz of course we all have the not so good ones . . . perhaps you two can share grattiude together of your lives today.

Scott W said...

Have a safe and fun holiday! I forgot you were Canadian.

chris said...

When she gets older she will cherish these times with you regardless of what material things you do or do not have. Being sober and with her is the most important thing "Eh?"

Shannon said...

LOL scott.. LUSH, I didnt know yu were Canadian, Happy Canada Day

I bet you and Angel with have a great day!
You are such a good mom!

sharonsjourney said...

You know what? I'll bet all she wants is to spend her birthday with her now sober mom! What a gift. You'll make the time special, I know that about you. I didn't know Canada was younger than The the U.S. Happy birthday, Canada, from your American friend(s).

I love that quote! I'm going to copy it.

Love you too, your friend Sharon

Tab said...

I love being Canadian but in the world of blogging it is truly amazing to see how universal HoPe is..isn't it ?
You keep shining your star on us Lush..we all need to know we will get through changes and rough spots.
Big hugs to you my fellow Canadian blogger peep :)
xo

Mary Christine said...

I recalled my days in Canada today when I realized it is Canada Day.

I was on disability (in sobriety) for 5 years. I learned more about money and trusting God in that time. You will be OK.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Happy birthday, Canadian!

How are you, LushGurl? Hope you're in the best of health.

Syd said...

Hope that you both enjoy the fireworks. I just got some for our Fourth of July celebration tomorrow.

The Maven said...

I hope you two had a great time downtown! With three gremlins I had NO desire to go anywhere near swarms of people. Can we say 'lost child'? And I'm guessing it would be Gutsy ;)

Christine said...

loving Angel, praying for her and giving her a sober Mom are awesome gifts even if she doesn't see it that way today---someday she'll get it

Shannon said...

Hey gurl... LOVE ya and HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!