My sponsor gave me this butterfly charm for my birthday, in the card she wrote "The butterfly is the symbol of transformation, all that we become on our journey of sobriety. I wish you many colours!"
Well, I did it again, I missed hAAlf nAAked Thursday, I'm gonna hafta get my act together or I may be kicked out! The thing is, I've been feeling kinda stuck... I know that you guys know what this is like 'cause we are, after all, alcoholics. I was talking to a gurl that I was in treatment with and she sensed that I was not myself. She said what many others have shared, that I am experiencing post-year let down. Well, nobody told me THAT when I was getting up to receive my medallion!!! I know, nobody told me it was all gonna be cherries and cream, but come on...don't ya know I'm special??? OK, seriously now, 'cause I don't want you to hurt yourselves laughing at MY expense... I think maybe I need a good kick in the butt, and that's probably why I haven't been making phone calls or posting much. But don't tell anyone I said that, and if you do, I'll just deny it anyway. Oh crap, I forgot, I'm putting this out there for the world to see... I guess I'll bend over now LOL!
Better late than never, here is a reading from "As Bill Sees It", randomly opened to see if good old HP is paying attention to me today...
We have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity has returned. We can now react sanely and normally, and we find that this has happened almost automatically. We see that this new attitude toward liquor is really a gift of God.
That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky, nor are we afraid.
That is how we react-so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. pg. 121
Hahahaha... I had to laugh when I read about the sanity part, because I am not exactly feeling sane right now, but I know...this too shall pass! Today I am grateful for the following...
- they say my sanity will be restored
- to be clean and sober today
- to be able to "feel" all of my feelings
- nobody has kicked me outta AA...yet!
- my friend the Maven is celebrating 16 years on Friday (I made the cake)
- I do not have any cravings for alcohol or drugs today
- my sense of humour has returned
- my ability to love has returned
- I know how to "let go and let God", I just need to practice it more
- for all of you 'oldtimers' and 'newcomers' that keep coming back here!
So that's it for now, because I have some blog-stalking to catch up on...
12 comments:
You won't get kicked out of AA -- that's for sure. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
And you won't get kicked out of HNT, but try to include pictures with YOU in them.
Thanks for the link.
I was told after my 1st year birthday that "The 1st year is a gift and the 2nd year starts the work"
Just keep doing what worked for you the 1st year....I've seen your willingness!!!!
You'll be okay. Just keep doing what you're doing and use that humor. We want to see you at HNT. Hang in there.
I know what you mean. I'm in the same boat. But, yea, do what pam says, I too, have seen your willingness, & your hard work, you are wise beyond a 1 yr. old! I like that 'this too shall pass', good thing to remember.
Hang in there, it gets better...then it gets worse...then it gets real...then it gets different...then it gets real different. Enjoy the ride, it's so worth it.
I love your necklace, it fits you. Looks good on your pretty neck.
Love you, Sharon
Dear one, no one will laugh at you for doing the very things they have all done. You are not unique and no one wants to hurt you! {{{{{{Lushgurl}}}}}}}}}}}}
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insights here--you make me see things in a new way every time I visit.
You're doing fine. We all go through those spells from time to time.
I'll drop over and say hi to your new friend.
Kick me out daave. I love the butterfly quote that was really cool that she gave that to you..just listen to your sponsor only..We are all alcoholics look how many opinions you got. lolllll
{{ Butterflies }}
You will feel your wings spread soon Lush :)
Butterflies are a true representation of how we tranform into aq wonderful entity. Once tranformed a butterfly is so colorful and gets to flutter away in the sky free from everything.
I really liked what Pam said, I have heard that too, actually I heard it last week.
Keep doing what you are doing, don't deny your emotions and allow them to be processed.
MUAH!
cool butterfly. i have a butterfly tattoo, i'd like to adopt that meaning...
Every so often I feel a little stuck too, but usually that gets cured by something icky happening. Then I wish I was just stuck again. LOL.
I love the necklace!
Hugs to you my lovely friend! And I don't think half-naked people get kicked out of much of anything. ;)
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