Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 55
It was out of the depths of loneliness, depression and despair that I sought the help of AA. As I recovered and began to face the emptiness and ruin of my life, I began to open myself to the possibility of the healing that recovery offers through the AA program. By coming to meetings, staying sober , and taking the Steps, I had the opportunity to listen with increasing attentiveness in the depths of my soul. Daily I waited, in hope and gratitude, for that sure belief and steadfast love I had longed for in my life. I met my God, as I understand Him.
That is the Daily Reflection reading for today, and I am loving it. I find that it so accurately reflects alot of the emotions that I have been feeling the last week or so. Although I can honestly say that I was not in the depths of depression or despair, I well remember feeling that way not so very long ago. Last week I was feeling lonely though, and thanks to my meetings and my blogger friends, it did pass. All the hecticness passed too. The speaker I heard on Friday night had such a powerful message, and I felt my head going like a bobble-head doll as she spoke of all the terrible feelings that were in her life. She shared how the drinking at first would make the feelings go away, and then they'd come back even stronger, mixed with remorse and regret and guilt, and she would drink even more to erase them. The feelings of uselessness, and wanting to die and just not wanting to be....anymore.
I liked how she shared of her first AA meeting, and how she thought "these people actually know what I'm feeling". How true I find this to be. We may all look different on the outsides, we come from various financial backgrounds, we can be found all over the world, speaking hundreds of languages. But when a willing alcoholic open their heart to learn how to live again, they usually feel as if they have come home... at least thet is how it was for me. The speaker went on to tell how she learned to trust, and to love and to find a Power greater than herself. She spoke at length about all of the gifts the program gave her, and of all of the friends she has made. It was a message of hope, to hear about where she started and where she ended up. To know this beautiful, brave young woman today one has to have faith in this wonderful program.
Today I am grateful for the following...
- to be clean and sober...and even happy
- to have a great weekend of love and sharing with AAngel
- the Maven and her strength to have 16 years sober
- all of the flowers that God has helped me to grow
- to know that I meet the requirements for AA membership
- to be at peace today
- to look forward to tomorrow
- for my safe and loving home
- to have spoken to my sponsor, who gave me 'homework' and I have no resentments!
- for all of AA, all over the world
- each and every single one of YOU...
Stalk to ya later y'all! 
Oh and before I forget...
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!
9 comments:
Speaker meetings are great for me because they take me back to the place I was before I found the rooms of AA. And since my rememberer is broken, I need that reminder.
Thanks for sharing today and have a great week!
That woman told my story! I had the same feelings, & I felt hope, & connected when I came into AA. They understood me, & they listened. They didn't laugh at me, or shine me on. I get you, I get you! Wow!
Thanks for sharing, all of it, it really helped me.
Love you gurl!
Oh I wish I were there to hear that speaker . . . but wait, all I need to do is go to an AA meeting and no matter what, I know I will walk away with something. Yup, it even happened as early as last night's meeting. :)
Yay for your spirits being lifted. It is ok to feel blah you know. These are your emotions, and we cannot control them as we wish. They pass, and as I am learning they exist for a purpose. We are spiritual beings, and with that comes a balance of good feelings and the not so good. TO be whole we must accept them both.
Muah! Smile today, laugh today, you'll feel better :)
Yeah, I feel at home too whenever I'm blog-stalking my AA and NA recovery friends.
Have a great week, Patricia.
I love speaker meetings too.
That's a cool gratitude list. I liked this too -
It was out of the depths of loneliness, depression and despair that I sought the help of AA.
Spot on.
G-d I love this program, Lush!
I just posted on part of this reflection, too. It's so awesome.
You haven't visited me in a minute. I miss you.
Peace,
Scout
oh yeah, the feelings went away and came back so much stronger and with them so much despair,,,god the memory of that makes me so sad. Glad we have this program and God's grace today.
and even happy....
That makes me happy for you
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